In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the instant pudding mix and milk until smooth and beginning to thicken. Set aside.

In a separate large bowl, beat the softened cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk together until well combined and smooth.

Add the pudding mixture to the cream cheese mixture and beat until fully incorporated.

Gently fold in the thawed whipped topping until just combined, being careful not to overmix.

Line the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish with a layer of vanilla wafers.

Arrange a layer of sliced bananas over the vanilla wafers.

Pour the pudding mixture evenly over the bananas and spread to cover.

Top with another layer of vanilla wafers. You can crush some of them for a different texture if desired.

Cover the dish tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 4-6 hours, or preferably overnight, to allow the flavors to meld and the pudding to set.